I’m a female. And if you’re reading this, there’s a very likely chance that you’re a female too. What can I say, I know my audience. I also know that I’m not the only one who has experienced a plethora of failed relationships and flings.
When relationships end, most women tend to wonder where things went wrong. They spend more time than they’d like to admit contemplating what they could have done differently. They wonder: was I too clingy? Was I too withdrawn? Was I too demanding? Was there another girl in the picture?
As a woman, it’s natural to desire closure, but sometimes you never get it. So you’re stuck pondering why the guy lost interest in you. You can’t understand how he dropped you like last year’s wardrobe. Your mind is racing but you’re getting nowhere fast.
As girls, we crave answers. We crave insight. We crave clarity. And if there’s one thing that will help get us that, it’s the type of honesty from men that you’ll read below. Real answers from real men.
Hey, if your relationship’s not going to end in a fairytale, you might as well have an idea as to why.
“Going through my past relationship had its ups and downs. Although I made many good memories with that individual, there were always a number of red flags that kept occurring throughout the whole relationship. The main red flag that eventually led to me breaking things off with her was the consistent desire to take a “break.” To me taking a break is just a cop out to explore meeting other people. What’s the point in being in a relationship?”
“Some [women] have male friends that at some point they had a thing for or had relations with…Ok, nothing wrong with that. But then get into a relationship and refuse to distance themselves and usually say they had been friends for a long time or they are best friends and want to hang out with them or constantly talk or text. It’s a huge red flag because it shows they are not committed 100% to the guy they are currently with. Their eyes are always looking around. I think women tend to want to keep their “best guy friend” around just in case something goes wrong in the new relationship.”
“The biggest red flag I have noticed in a few different relationships was the inability to have a conversation during a conflict. As soon as there was a situation that was not ideal, she would just shut down and refuse to talk. In addition to that, she wouldn’t even try to think of solutions to reoccurring problems, she would just let them continue. As the relationship continued, she complained that I would point out things for her to work on even though she didn’t criticize me (even when I asked for criticism).”
“During my gap year after high school, I was deep into my first serious relationship. We dated on and off for about a year and a half. The breaks we took should have been a red flag in itself, but the moment I knew this relationship wouldn’t go any further was she wanted to take some “friend” to her senior prom instead of me. She said that since I graduated, it would be weird if I came back.”
“The girl would look at my Snapchat score and tell me the point breakdown and why she thought I was messaging other girls. [She] would look at my Facebook activity and see I was online and would assume I was ignoring her texts. She asked me if I was Snapchatting other women and when I just said my friends, I said “I don’t really know how the points work so,” then she said “it’s such and such for a picture and such and such for a video.” Then she would go on and freak if we lost our Snap streak. When we broke up, she freaked out and stalked me and messaged me 20 something times on every social media site that existed.”
“The only relationship I’ve had that was serious was ended when she started fooling around with drugs. At first pot. It escalated from there. I really liked her and was willing to put up with a lot. It became a problem because who I work for and as her habit escalated, police involvement became ever more likely.”
“For me in my most recent [relationship], things were going great until the end of last semester. We had a great time hanging out and I thought this might be the girl. She started to throw a few kickbacks and what I noticed was she would go into her room with one of her friends just to talk and she would come out with tears in her eyes. At first, I wondered if it was something I had done or hadn’t done. I talked to her friends but they refused to tell me any information. I decided to surprise her with a bottle of wine because all of my friends thought it was a cute idea. I went over unannounced, knocking on the door, and she opened it. I apologized for bugging her since I saw she was on the phone. She ended the call and right before she hung up, she said “I love you.” I didn’t know who it was and I didn’t think much of it. Another night, she had some of her close friends over to drink and I overheard her talking about another guy. I excused myself outside because my heart was kind of broken in that moment. Looking back, I realize the biggest red flag was that even though we were “unofficially official,” she seemed to be emotionally invested in something else and her friends told me not to make things official. I see now that it was because she was still talking to someone else.”